Its been a while, but sometimes my only escape from the world around me is the world in my head. And the only I can express what ‘s in my head is through words I can write. And so here I am. In the darkness that all stress in my life stems from; senior campus, burnsville high school. Now, I’m not saying school is the enemy. Of course being able to attend public school for 13 years of my life for free is a blessing. Some people would kill to go to school. That’s not what I’m saying. But the way that public school is set up in america is a joke. We don’t learn here. We aren’t sent here to further our knowledge so we can be as successful as possible in our future as adults. We are sent to school everyday our lives to keep us busy. To keep us out of the way of the world until we are old enough to contribute to the perpetuating cycle of disappointment that comes from never quite reaching the goals set for us by society. Maybe if there were something worth coming to this hell hole for, it wouldn’t be such a chore to get out of bed in the morning at 6 am. But there isn’t. There is no motivation. It’s a holding cell. The people here do not care about you. They are just here to train you for your inevitable future of disappointment. Please, stop me if I’m wrong. Maybe that is just my negativity talking. It is starting, my negativity that is, to becoming an entity of its own after all. Speaking out for its self. I used to be able to numb it, keep it in side. I was never much of a verbal complainer, but lately I just cannot help but think whats the point. What is the point of working so hard at something, like school, when it won’t make any difference anyway. Your existence on this planet is pointless whether you like it or not. You will work your whole life, for something that may not even be real, and then in the end you will die. with what to show for it? You were happy? Wow, awesome.This is what i dwell on all day as i question is it really worth it? All the relationships, the money, the stress, the pressure, is that all worth it just to say you were happy? I mean, what is happy. Is it even real? Is it just made up. Think about it, its a billion dollar idea. Some guy just made it up. Happy he said. That’s what you want in life. That is what you will work for, happiness. And here you are today working as hard as your little humanoid body can, for something that’s not even real! its just made up. You’re like a hamster on a wheel. What are you chasing? You’re a puppet. You’ve been trained to try to achieve this false feeling and all along it wasn’t even real. Bet you feel dumb, don’t you. But then again, maybe not. Maybe you will make it. Maybe you will be pulled out of your darkness. Maybe you will find the feeling that is associated with happy. You will be filled with it. It will consume you and when your time is up, you will say it was worth it. I was successful because, I was happy. And I think maybe that’s is the point. The maybe. The maybe is the what you’re working for. That’s what makes your life worth it. The unknown and the unseen. Maybe.